Quote:
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Originally Posted by samael
But how do you /know/ [the doctorate degree is] real?
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Random Jackass: Hi I want a lecturing job in your university.
Vice-Chancellor: sure, what qualifications do you have?
Random Jackass: here is a photocopy of my original doctorate degree certificate in Rogernomics.
Vice-chancellor: all right that looks real. You are hired!
[pick up the phone, dial a number, speaks into the phone requesting someone to come in]
Random Jackass: great!
VC: on one condition. Ok on several conditions: you have to teach one undergraduate course and one postgraduate course each semester of your choosen field. Each year you will have to publish in at least one peer-reviewed journal. For now we will give you a three year contact. If we are satisfy with your performance, we will give you tenure, a job for life. Do you agree to that?
Random Jackass: er... ok.
VC: here is a bag of money to help you settle, Mr...?
Random Jackass: surname is Jackass, Random Jackass.
VC: all right Mr. Jackass, here is another bag of money just so you can spend on whatever you want.
Random Jackass: cheers mate!
[a burly man comes in the office]
VC: ah I arranged personal bodyguard for you. Mr. Jackass, this gentleman here will escort you to your office.
Random Jackass: so when can I start?
VC: right now in fact. Please don't forget your certificate!
Random Jackass: cheers, have a nice day.
VC: you too.
[dial some number, speaks to phone]
VC: Jenny, can you please help me find another personal assistant? a-ha. Why would I need another personal assistant beside you? Because you are fired. Well, not until you have found me your replacement.