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Ab · 12th October 2011, 00:02

This is so insane I can only assume that this was dreamed up by the National Party and implanted in the brains of the organisers by means of some secret mind-control ray.

Seriously, Rugby World Cup finals week? With NZ hosting? And the All Blacks playing Australia in a knockout match that weekend, in that city? A COUPLE OF WEEKS OUT FROM AN ELECTION?

Picture everyone's mate John Key on television, rhetorically asking with a disbelieving look on his face, "Why do they hate New Zealand? Why don't they support the All Blacks? I just don't understand. Why can't the the Left stand with our team like the rest of the country?" Then they'll cut to Richie McCaw with his hand on his heart crying during the singing of the national anthem.

For the hearing impaired there will be subtitles: "JOHN KEY UPSET THAT NEW ZEALAND'S LEFT HATES THE ALL BLACKS"

The entire left wing of NZ's political spectrum will be about as popular as cancer.

Just before the election the National Party will be asked what it stands for, and Bill English, wearing a silver fern lapel pin, will hold up pictures of dreadlocked students fighting capitalism with their arms linked across Queen Street, and tearful rugby fans wearing All Blacks jerseys and beanies stuck on traffic-jammed public transport, distraught that they've missed the game. And English will reply "NOT THIS." And National will win in a landslide - well, I mean that's going to happen anyway, but the landslide will be so huge there'll be no Left any more.

An "Occupy Queen Street" protest in Auckland on October 15 is a right-wing spin doctor's wet dream.

Repeat: INSANE.

12th October 2011, 00:02
Ab A mariachi ogre snorkel	This is so insane I can only assume that this was dreamed up by the National Party and implanted in the brains of the organisers by means of some secret mind-control ray. Seriously, Rugby World Cup finals week? With NZ hosting? And the All Blacks playing Australia in a knockout match that weekend, in that city? A COUPLE OF WEEKS OUT FROM AN ELECTION? Picture everyone's mate John Key on television, rhetorically asking with a disbelieving look on his face, "Why do they hate New Zealand? Why don't they support the All Blacks? I just don't understand. Why can't the the Left stand with our team like the rest of the country?" Then they'll cut to Richie McCaw with his hand on his heart crying during the singing of the national anthem. For the hearing impaired there will be subtitles: "JOHN KEY UPSET THAT NEW ZEALAND'S LEFT HATES THE ALL BLACKS" The entire left wing of NZ's political spectrum will be about as popular as cancer. Just before the election the National Party will be asked what it stands for, and Bill English, wearing a silver fern lapel pin, will hold up pictures of dreadlocked students fighting capitalism with their arms linked across Queen Street, and tearful rugby fans wearing All Blacks jerseys and beanies stuck on traffic-jammed public transport, distraught that they've missed the game. And English will reply "NOT THIS." And National will win in a landslide - well, I mean that's going to happen anyway, but the landslide will be so huge there'll be no Left any more. An "Occupy Queen Street" protest in Auckland on October 15 is a right-wing spin doctor's wet dream. Repeat: INSANE.