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Wow.
What an awkward happy / sad story. I think it's great you have realised how important she was towards showing you about being a father. I too have lost a cat who I hand-raised. Her name was "She" (mainly because the first thing I would say when I came home was "Where is she?"). Her birth and death were complicated and troublesome. I know how hard it is to see an animal you love that is in pain..
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